Addicted
by xlovestory
Summary: I’m addicted. That’s the only way to describe what I feel for Bella. My body aches for her. My whole life is centred around this beautiful, glorious, human being - and I wouldn't have it any other way. Bella/Edward One-shot. Pure fluff.


_My first every Twilight FanFiction one-shot. For so long, I've been writing for High School Musical, but I wanted to branch out. And decided there was nothing better than to branch out with my new obsession: Twilight. Please read, and I really hope you enjoy. It doesn't really have a plot; it just flows. And to my faithful HSM FF readers: I hope you enjoy this as much as you do my other stories. I'll stop blabbering now, and they you read. Enjoy! **(IN EDWARD'S POV!)**_

**Addicted.**

_In my thoughts._

_In my dreams._

_You've taken over me._

_Nothing but you._

_I'm addicted to you._

_-- Kelly Clarson; 'Addicted'._

I'm addicted.

That's the only way to describe the way I feel for Bella.

My body aches for her. When I'm apart from her, nothing else in the world can capture my interest. My whole life is centred around this beautiful, glorious, human being - and I wouldn't have it any other way. My stone cold heart feels like its beating whenever she touches me, or even smiles. When she walks into a room, I can feel it brighten, and can only smile my crooked grin, because that's the effect she has on me. It's almost indescribable, the things she makes me feel. And of everyone and everything I could have fallen in love with, it was a human. It was Bella Swan.

She really doesn't see herself very clearly, you know. She tells me she constantly has to tell herself this is all real, because she thinks she'll never be good enough for me. But to me, that is the most rubbish I've ever heard. Because it's me who has to do all those things - stop and remind myself she is mine; pinch my marble skin to tell myself I'm not dreaming. It is I who is the lucky one. And I know for a fact my family will be forever grateful to her.

Because now I am filled with life.

Before Bella, my wonderful Bella, my life was so incomplete. I felt empty, to the core. I was numb, and even though my heart no longer beats, I still knew I should feel some emotion. But no - with no Bella to brighten my day and make me happy, I was constantly depressed. I went around like a zombie; another monster, like I am one myself. I was, literally, alone.

And then Bella, with all her brilliance, danced across my world. She came upon me, and left me feeling things I never thought I'd ever feel. I wanted more, so much more. She made goose bumps erupt all over my white skin. From the first time my golden eyes met hers, I knew it was love. The most terrifying kind of love. The kind of love that could give you pain, leave you with nothing if it went away. So I ran, like most normal humans do when they are scared. And I was scared; scared of the feelings she was giving me; scared of loving a human, of all things; and scared for her. Her blood, it called to me, my senses were all over Bella when she was near. And it was dangerous. Deadly dangerous.

But I came back. I couldn't leave. I wouldn't let myself run away from my family, just because of Bella. And after I came back, I realised I had been willing to run away from the best thing that has ever come into my - over a century old - life. I could have thrown the chance of Bella away, and I'll always regret giving in to my weakness. For she is who I live for now; she is my life. I either have her in my life, or have nothing to live for anymore.

With Bella in my life, things will surely be okay.

I check my watch again, at vampire speed. Nobody was around, so I could almost be myself. My vampire self. I was currently standing outside the door of my lovely Bella's math class. My eyes were glued to her every move through the pane of glass in the door. It was five minutes until they got out, and being myself - the one person everyone liked (I have no idea why?) - I had got out early. So I watched mesmerised, as I sometimes do, usually when she is asleep. I watched as she sighed deeply, her heart beating steady, as she copied down various equations on the board. I could hear everything, from the teacher muttering on about reports, to one of the regular bullies at the back of the classroom, planning on stealing someone's lunch money.

But the one thing I could never hear, was Bella.

And how I wanted to! It was so infuriating sometimes, not knowing what my love was really thinking, only relying on her inability to lie, and that blush of hers. Those were the only ways I could tell. During many of my watching hours, I've wondered what she was thinking. I'd ask - but not always get the real reply. She'd mostly say she was thinking about me. But why? I'll never understand why everybody finds me so intriguing.

I continue to watch as the lesson draws to a close. The teacher announces it was time to pack up, then the loud rustling of papers, textbooks and jotters commences and Bella somehow manages to trip over the leg of her chair while piling up her jotters and placing them in her bag. How clumsy she always is! It's a good thing I'm here to protect her.

The door shoots open, and the first people out the class stare at me as they always do. But it isn't as bad as it used to be. We used to have the whole class watching us from the top of the corridor, so most are prepared for me meeting Bella now. They are almost used to it. Some, though, still find it aggravating.

That means… Mike Newton.

If he knew I could here his thoughts, he wouldn't be saying the sort of stuff he always says. I'm pretty sure he'd be too scared to say it in his thoughts, let alone to my face. But as usual, I keep my features straight, pretending to be human, even though the words he utters into his brain flow through my ears.

_"Why is Bella even dating this guy? I really thought it would be over by now. It's been what? Over a year? And yet they're still together! He must be forcing her, or something!"_

I try not to growl.

_"I should have got to her first. Then she wouldn't be with that freak. He really can't be human."_

How right he was.

_"Me and Bella are clearly perfect for each other. Everyone can see it. They all think she'd mad. It is mad! They are so… very weird together. Bella and I, that's what's right."_

I made sure not to look at him. Only I knew the real story. I knew Bella didn't even like Mike. She found him incredibly annoying. She'd grimace every time I saw him debating whether to come over, which eventually he did. But being Bella, and always trying to please everyone, she'd somehow managed to keep the peace with him. He just hadn't quite caught on about her not wanting him. And her never ever being with him.

My thoughts are quickly vanished thought, when I see my beauty hoisting her bag over her shoulder and heading for the door. Of course, she had to trip over her feet on the way, but it didn't make the sight any less wonderful - just a little more realistic. Her eyes catch mine, and suddenly the whole world closes in and the only thing I can hear is her thumping heart beat quickening. Her footsteps quicken too, and soon she is by my side. Where she belongs.

"Hello." She smiles, a faint blush dancing cross her pale skin.

I lean down catching her delicate face in my hard, crushing hands. Slowly I bring her face up to meet mine, aware that others are watching this display close by, but not caring. My lips are magnetically drawn to hers, I hear her faint moan as I swallow it up. Pulling away, we grin like idiots. Idiots in love.

I brush my forefinger across her glowing cheek. "Hello to you too." She smiles, taking my hand from her cheek and entwining over hands together, as we turn for the way to the dinner hall, leaving the spectators behind. " How was Maths?"

She groaned, her thumbs rubbing gentle circles on my hand. The loving gesture made me smile contagiously. I could stay like this, together, forever. Then she looked up. "It was… like Maths always is. My hardest subject. Jessica wouldn't stop chatting."

"About?" I probed.

Her glorious blush heightened. "You, of course."

Jessica. Ah, she was one of those girls. Who wanted to know everything and anything that was good for gossip. She didn't usually get anything out of Bella that people didn't already know - we were the schools celebrities - but Bella being Bella, wouldn't just ask her to stop. So that led to conversation after conversation about yours truly. Something I would again, never understand.

We headed straight to the lunch queue. One look from the person standing in front of us, and soon the chain of people were all connected in the same chit chatter. About how the famous couple were standing at the back of the queue. It was ridiculous really. And quite idiotic. We were just two people, in the lunch queue, waiting to be served. Quite like everyone else standing here too. Except what we had was special. The connection; the love for one another that nobody else in our year could find. Except for maybe the sweet Angela and caring Ben. They were soul mates. Just like us.

I pulled Bella closer to me, and gesture she'd learnt the meaning of, when we were in the lunch queue. She sighed, looking up at me and rolling her beautiful eyes at the others. I laughed (my musical laugh, as Bella would sometimes say), and kissed her forehead gently. I could almost hear the inaudible gasps. It made me chuckle again.

Our interlaced hands stayed connected while we shuffled slowly up the queue, grabbing Bella's food, and extra for me. Food I wasn't going to eat, but try and probe Bella to. She needed a little fat on her anyway. Then we trailed over way, past the table Bella used to sit at, and after saying hello's to Angela and Ben, we walked to our table, right at the back, close to the rest of my family.

I sit down, with Bella at my side, but end up pulling her onto my lap. There's something about her, this human I have fallen in love with, that makes me crave her touch. I have to touch her, smell her hair, and it not because of her blood. It's just her. Over the past year and few months we've been together, the scent of her blood has lowered. It isn't as large and overpowering as it used to be. I find myself being more able to act like a human would act towards their love.

I rearrange her legs so they are sprawled across the other seat, and she is sitting with her side towards my, my arm supporting her back. She smiles at my usual gesture, something she does everything I pull her towards me. It's not just me that aches for closeness; Bella wants it too.

Pushing the tray filled with food towards she, I watch as she eyes it hungrily. Grabbing the sandwich closest to her, she unwraps it and takes a bite. Munching it down, she turns to me. "Do you never think about trying to eat a full human meal?"

Her question doesn't take me by surprise really. I almost expect it. It's always something about me eating human food, but worded differently. And I always reply just the same as I do now. "No, as you know, I prefer… other things." I whispered close to her ear, making a shiver flood down her spine and I watch while she tries to contain her giggles. "And honestly. That looks disgusting."

She looks down at her sandwich, turning it so she can look at it from different sides, her brow creasing. "Looks fine to me." She mumbles before eating once again.

I cock my head to one side. "Ah, but that's because you're human, my love."

She shrugs her shoulders, taking her defeat well. Nestling closer to my cold body, she resumes to eating the food decorated on the tray. After eating almost all of it, she pats her stomach, telling me she is full, and I throw the rest away, coming back to her, pulling her swiftly back onto my lap. She sighs contentedly.

"Have I told you,' I commented looking down at her. 'that you look beautiful today?' I point to the lovely shade of blue she is wearing. I've told her numerous times that that shade of blue is amazing on her. Something about the colour of her skin, and how it highlights and mixes with the brown in her glorious locks of hair. She always looks stunning to me, of course, but that blue makes it even more prominent.

She blushes again. I'll never get used to that. It always makes my non-beating heart swell. "You always tell me that. I have no idea why." She murmurs from the crook of my neck. She feels like she's being very quiet, but knows I can hear her. I always can. I'm almost tuned to her.

I move her head from my neck, letting my eyes do the talking. They always that the power to make people shy away, or do anything you want them too. Quite intimidating to most, but to Bella, she just loses herself in them.

"You don't see yourself very clearly, do you, my Bella?"

That has to be the most over used sentence in my vocabulary.

She managed to release herself from my penetrating gaze. I continue talking anyway. Even though I know it's a lost cause. She'd never listen. Never has done; never will. It was hopeless, and quite saddening that someone who held so much beauty as Bella did, that they didn't believe it.

I sighed, returning to the subject in hand. "You, darling Bella, are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. And you must remember I've been around here for quite some time.' I throw in a wink for her benefit. 'I was meant for others, but you are the only on who has sparked my interest. Rosalie, in my opinion has nothing on you.' I risk a glance in the direction of my family's table, to find Rosalie glaring back. I smile weakly, and she rolls her eyes, a smile curling at her lips. It was a good thing she was on good terms with me right now. 'You are amazing, Bella Swan, and I'll never let you forget it. Because it is true. If you could only hear what the boys think of you at this school. I have lots of competition, and lots of people thinking you've made a mistake…"

Of course she has, really. I am an animal, a truly dangerous one, and still she finds herself loving me. I could quite easily kill her, so easily. I could kill her right now, but only my heart and the way I feel about her, knowing I couldn't live without her, is stopping me. She could be so much safer, with someone else. Someone like… Mike Newton. No matter how vile and infuriating he is, I would willingly give her to him if he could prove that he'd keep her safe. Because she will never be safe with me. Unless she was changed. And for me, that is never an option. Bella, as stubborn as always, has other ideas…

She flings her head around, her hair's scent nearly choking me with the sudden movement. Her eyes are firm, unmoving, and she pulls my head towards hers, looking me directly in the eye. "Now you listen to me, Edward Cullen. You are so precious to me; I could never even think of letting you go. I don't care if you can kill me. I don't care if you could kill me right this second. Because I know you won't, and that you can't. You wouldn't let anything happen to me."

Apparently, I care a little too much.

The rest of the day drags on. Without Bella to make the subjects interesting, it becomes just something I need to do - not want to do. The classes finish quickly, and at a slightly faster than human speed, I pick up my feet and head to the gym. Bella had that last period.

After a few minutes of waiting, Bella stumbles out the door and directly into my arms. I chuckle, the sound moving into her ears and making her blush as I steady her. I kiss her forehead and we begin walking in the direction of the car park.

Bella stops, stands still and searches the area. I know immediately what she is looking for, even if I can't read her mind. Her eyes narrow, and I know what she suspects. She turned to me, her eyes suspicious, with her arms crossed over her body.

"Where's my truck?" She asks me, her voice hard.

We've had many discussions about her truck. And when I say many, I don't just mean the odd couple, I mean lots. And lots. And lots. We've even argued about it, and arguing isn't something we normally do. I'll calmly suggest whenever we are in her truck, about me possibly buying her a new car. Her van frustrates me to the max, you see. It's so… slow. Bella tells me I drive way too fast. But I disagree. It's not to do with my 'need for speed', as she calls it. For me, it isn't a boy thing. It's just… natural, for me to drive like that. So when I'm in Bella's beloved truck, I can't help but complain. And then she'll huff, stating she doesn't need a new car. Even though she really does.

So in actual fact, I'm not surprised she's suspecting me to have done something with it. Because I would be very glad to. I'd even crush it with my own hands. The only thing that's stopping me is… Bella. How angry she would be!

She stares at me meaningfully now.

I hold my hands up to surrender. "I haven't done anything with it, don't worry!"

She sighs, dropping on hand to rest on her small hip, the other waving around the car park. She looks at me exasperatedly. "Well then, where is it?!"

I start to walk towards her, wiping the lines off her forehead with my fingers. She eases slightly, but is still worried. I kiss her nose. "I just took it back home for you, love. I thought I could drive you home. Is that okay?"

For some reason, I always get worried about her. It's not just about her being a magnet for trouble, because honestly, anything could happen to her (and I mean anything! She's with a vampire of God's sake!). But there's always a niggling at the back of my mind, thinking that one day she'll reject me. I know, somewhere in this old and used body of mine, that she will never want anyone else but me. Sometimes, though, it is hard to grasp.

She rolls her eyes at my question, like I'm stupid. "Of course I'll ride with you. I just wished you'd have told me that you'd taken my car, that's all. But I'm warning you, Cullen.' She points up at me, with seriousness all over her face. I nod quickly. 'If there is one little mark on my truck, you'll be for it!"

I gulp dramatically, and she smirks, holding in her laughter. "Yes. I know. How about we get you home?"

She suddenly yawns. "Sounds great."

Later, I find myself with a sleeping Bella in my strong arms. I look down at her wistfully, wondering like I have sometimes, what it's like to sleep. I wish I could experience dreams. I'd dream of Bella of course. Just like she dreams of me.

"Edward…" She mumbles sleepily, turning in my arms to snuggle into my chest.

I stroke her hair carefully, letting her hairs aroma float into my nose, and I inhale it heartily. There is nothing I like more than the scent of Bella. It's floral, but no flower could compete. She's unique, and I love it.

"Love you…" She mumbles again.

"I love you too." I whisper delicately into the room, hoping that in her dream, wherever we are, she'll hear me.

Outside, the sky is getting darker, and I know her father, Charlie, will be home soon. We get on… okay. But we're not on the best of terms. And those terms will no doubt get worse if he comes home to see his daughter sleeping in my arms. A perfectly adult appropriate action, but with Charlie you just never know. I can tell I should leave, my minds telling me to lay the blanket over her and hurry out before he comes.

But I just can't drag myself away.

Our connection right now, cannot be thrown away. I want to lie with her like this forever, with her small, fragile body pressed against mine lovingly. And if I went away, I'd only be counting the minutes before I can return to her bedroom - the place I spend almost all my nights now, unless I'm hunting. I return my eyes to her sleeping face, with her puckered lips and fluttering eyelids. She looks like an angel, and she is mine.

My eyes drift to the clock, taking in the time and sighing. I should leave now. But I just can't. If I'm apart from her, there will be nothing to keep me occupied.

My body aches for her, you see?

Because there is only one way to describe the way I feel for Bella.

I'm addicted.

**A/N; I'd love for you to review. Pretty please?**

**This definitely won't be my only Twilight based story, but until I finish others, get new ones started, and the writing part of my brain sorted out, you'll just have to wait. Maybe another one-shot soon?**

**Thanks guys! --HSMisLurve.**


End file.
